Old.

Im feeling old. I recently hit this realization like a deer hitting a semi truck. We were in BG to see Aaron's sister and boyfriend's new apartment and it hit me sitting there listening to her talk about her new things.

I feel old because I think I am getting old. Im not interested in going out to parties and getting drunk or to the bars and seeing where I wake up. I prefer to spend the evening in with Aaron than go anywhere (except for a few people). Oh and Im in bed by midnight every night now, yes even weekends.

I kind of wonder what happened. I guess it would be in part to the little friend circle that we are in disbanding for adulthood where we exchanged classes and exams for jobs and deadlines but damn. I kind of miss living out on my own too, I saw all of Rachelle's new apartment stuff and I remember how excited I was when Aaron and I were supposed to get our own place but due to some crazy life changes we didnt.

The other thing, I stress ALL the time about getting things done. I don't let Aaron just pull me away from what Im doing because what I am doing is more important than whatever Aaron wants to do. Or is it? I think Im getting too stressed about adult life and Im worried that I will push him away too much. Im really lucky that he is such a great guy and treats me so well and I know I return it, but I guess I need to let my hair down a bit more often to make him and me happier.

I like where I am in life because Aaron and I are adults and we know how to act responsibly so therefore we get more freedom and we can do things the way we want them because we don't have kids either, but Im feeling restless. I hope that wedding planning makes me feel better. As of Sept. 21 we have been engaged 3 months and honestly I stare at my ring as if it has only been 3 days. I really am blessed to have such a wonderful guy in my life.