So what are you going to do?

Ever since high school when small talk runs out at family or friend events the topic always turns to the future. "What college are you going to apply to?" "What colleges did you get into?" "What are you going to major in?" It gets even worse when the person you are talking to can relate with where you are going or what you are going into because then the questions get more detailed. "What dorm are you moving into?" "What is your summer reading project?" No one actually likes answering these questions unless you are that full of yourself and like to brag about how awesome you are.
The question gets worse at the end of undergrad.

"So what are you going to do after you graduate?"

In all honesty I feel like flicking them off and telling them " I don't f*cking know" but instead I put on my happy face and start with the well I think.....

The truth is, I really do not know. I could go to grad school, but I don't know if that is what I want to do at this point in my life. I would prefer to get my life started and get a job that could pay a decent amount so I afford my wedding and a house. I do have an undergraduate degree and while I was always under the assumption that it would not get me anywhere, I have found some options that may leave me in a pretty position. The other downside to going to grad school is it would be another 20000 (at least) in loans that I would rather not accumulate at this time. I would rather have the student loans I have now and add a house loan instead.

The only problem with this scenario is that I would not be going into what I exactly want to go into and what I know I would enjoy the most. If I took option 1 it would put me most likely in pharmaceutical sales which I am pretty sure I have the talent for, but my heart does lie in working with kids.

Another thing for me to consider is my family money situation. In the last year my mom has REALLY struggled with her finances and has been barely able to pull off what she had. In April, Social Security finally payed on some back payments that they owed her and now that is what we are living on for the time being, but that money has a lifespan as well and unfortunately its end is sooner rather than later.

I cant help thinking that that money my mom received was a gift from God saying "I can help you for now until you are done with school then you have to start supporting more." It makes sense, if I were to get a job and start paying more around here it would be good. Mom has even thrown out the option of selling this house to Aaron and I for a reasonable price.

That brings me to another point that I want to make clear. I want you all to understand that Aaron is doing his best to help out around here as well. He now pays our cell phone bill and helps with groceries when we need them. Its not alot, but what can you really expect when he is working 38 hours a week and still only making 7.40 an hour. It will help when he becomes a manager in July which will push his income up to 9.25 an hour, but at some point he needs to build a savings for a car and for emergencies.

It kind of becomes apparent where my heart and mind are at this point in my life. Maybe I need to get a job so that I can support myself and start my future. Maybe the satisfaction of having what I want is better than the happiness I would have getting to do what I know I am best at.